Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Student X Update

As of last week, I had no intentions of ever mentioning him again. I would hate for word to get back to his parents and for them to be offended, but some things I’ve just got to share.

My favorite 7-year-old walked in today with the same guitar as last week, the one he traded for a baseball card. I made a reference to the guitar and he abruptly cut me off to tell me that he calls it his “baseball guitar.”

His technique for cutting people off is impeccable. At the instant he feels the urges to speak, he loudly and frantically interjects the first word and stutters with it until any competing speaker is silenced.

I was about to ask him how his guitar practice had gone the previous week, but he continued about the guitar, “I-I-I-It’s like a [Lincoln] Navigator…it’s like trading a Pinto for a Navigator.” It was enough to make me chuckle, but was only a warm-up for what came out of his mouth 10 minutes later.

I can’t recall how he got on the topic. Maybe it began when I gave into his request for me to sing “Three Blind Mice” if he would just play it right. After my Pianissimo rendition of the song and a brief conversation about why the three blind mice in his music book were wearing sunglasses, he started talking about country singers. I spoke up to direct his attention back to our lesson, but he cut me off again.

“H-H-H-Hey, you know what?” he said with certainty that what he was about to say in fact needed to be said.
“What?” I responded reluctantly.
“Kenny Chesney has a lot of body parts in his name.”

I was confused to say the least, and I braced myself for the explanation that I knew was on it’s way whether I liked it or not. He looked at me as if he were about to impart truly useful information and then pointed to the corresponding body parts as he continued:

“Yeah…Ken-Knee Ches(t)-knee.”

…I swear I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

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