Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Tour 4/19 - 4/23/06 How did you score?!!

Read CAREFULLY and see how you score at the end!

Well, it’s been way too blitzflickin long since my last blog. (Look spell-check, I’m sure old William Gates will update you to include “blitzflikin” soon enough…seeing that its usage in the American vernacular is spreading like wildfire…so lay off with the squiggly red lines already…) Ahh computers….can’t live with them, can’t live without them….and sure as sunny summer can’t afford a new one….

Anyway, I never updated you on my Spring tour….we’ll just say it was an epic to rival Homer and leave it at that….

But as for last weekend, it was 5 days and 5 shows….2 of which were outdoor. I drove 1,095 miles and lined the pockets of unknown Arabs as gas prices rose to almost 3 dollars….

Best Moment(s):
Hanging around with the new crew in Bloomington, IN. You guys and gals rock. Please, somebody comment this blog with a link to the pictures of the fainting goat reenactment…the world must know.
Of course, it would be hard to beat the evening at The Common Grounds in Lexington. It was Bailey’s birthday, and besides singing happy birthday to her from stage, I got to hang out with all of her crazy friends…yes you are all crazy, and I love it….as long as no one sees that picture…you know which one…I have a reputation you know…

Dumbest Moment: (See note to self)

Note to self:
Never, ever, under any circumstance or under the influence of any amount of sleep deprivation should you ever, ever attempt to pass a State Trooper in a construction zone…even if it is a Sunday and there are no workers anywhere near the site and you are only going 10% over the speed limit, you blitzflikin idiot! For the love, you get pulled over enough because anyone carrying that amount electronics and black boxes in a station wagon has got to be Al-Qaeda…

Most Victorious Moment:
Getting off with yet another warning….I’ve got it down….he didn’t even look at my registration….

Funniest Moment: censored

Most confusing moment:
Hands down! Sleeping in a house Friday night and never meeting the owner. Jonah Sage (www.jonahsage.com) and I played a show that night together and got in around 2:30 at his friend’s house in Cincinnati. Everyone was asleep when we got in, and when I woke up Jonah and everyone else in the house were gone. Honestly, it was really creepy getting up and leaving an unfamiliar house, having never met the owner ...kinda makes me go “what the crap…”

So, overall it was a great weekend, though I was exhausted after the outdoor festival on Sunday. I slept five hours and then played for four hours in the sun…without lunch. But they gave me 4 hot dogs and 2 loaves of “Monk’s Bread” for the road.

What can I say….this is my life.

Now see how you scored as a Beau Bristow blog-reader, and post your score in the comments section!

1. If you were sharp enough to notice that I really did misspell “Blitzflikin” in the first paragraph, then give yourself 5 points!

2. If you remember the blog when I introduced “Blitzflikin” then give yourself 7 points!

3. If you thought “Homer” in paragraph 2 was the famous Simpson, then subtract 10 points.

4. If you still think “Homer” in paragraph 2 is Homer Simpson, then go lock yourself in your closet and play with fireworks until the Fire Department gets there….then subtract an amount of points equal to the number on the side of the fire truck.

5. If you saw me at any of the shows this past Wednesday through Sunday then give yourself 10 points.

6. If you have one of my songs posted on your MySpace page, then give yourself 15 points.

7. If you are having trouble adding things up at this point, then start back over at zero.

8. If you played any role in my “best moments” listed above, give yourself 8 points.

9. Subtract 2 points for every speeding ticket you have ever received. Then add 1 point for every time you have gotten off with a warning.

10. If you have already subscribed to my blog, then give yourself 10 points (8 points if you subscribe right now).

If you scored:

>50 - Dang! How many speeding warnings have you had?

30-49 - Sweet sassy molassy! The world needs more people like you.

10-29 - That’s okay. You are probably a real person with a real life….either that or you slept through the Iliad and the Odyssey in 8th grade…if that’s the case, add 2 points and go reread your cliff notes….

<10 - Scum thou art…for breaking my heart…but thanks all the same….for playing this game….



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